I started writing political limericks in September of 2011,
just before the Republican Debate Clown Car Express got started.
Most of my limericks were aimed at Newsmakers of the Day,
so you must consider some as dated, as they were overtaken by events...
Sme of them were aimed at fellow posters on the blogs; I have removed most of those...
Still, some have requested these, so I present them mostly in the order written...
I hope you enjoy them...
Some folks think their humour is droll;
Some think being rich is their goal;
But I think that I've found
The worst parasite around
Is a lie-slinging, right-winger troll...
Jon Huntsman thought nothing was fin-a,
Being Obama's bigwig in China,
'Til the day that the slob
Wanted Obama's job;
Now, he's turned into his biggest whin-a!
Herman Cain figured blondes were so fine,
He felt every blonde was worth tryin';
Until each one said "nope"
To a BJ and grope;
Now, he's de-Nine, de-Nine, de-Nine...
Michelle Bachmann professes to pray
And ask for God's guidance each day;
If she spends so much time
In the Presence Sublime,
Why'd she marry a guy who's so Gay?
Rick Perry took Bush as his guide.
He'd follow his example with pride.
He would fill all the shoes
Of this guy who can't lose;
Shame he copied the idiot inside.
Mitt Romney thought chances were fair
His supporters would carry him there
To replacing the 'louse'
He saw in the White House;
Didn't think he would fight Romney-care..
Newt Gingrich believes he's superior;
All his candidate foes are inferior.
There is no mystery,
He'd rewrite history.
'Cept his ego's out-stripped his interior.
Ron Paul wants his government shrinking
To the size where you'd miss it while blinking.
If he don't want to feed it,
Why's he wanting to lead it?
Tell me, what in the world is he thinking?
Rick Santorum desires the fame,
Bringing lovers down to pits of shame.
He would spend all his time
Making sodomy a crime.
Why'm I skittish to Google his name?
Thinking of school makes me edgy;
Bullies would give me a wedgie;
But one thing I recall;
In the cafeteria hall,
They never called pizza a veggie!
Grover Norquist thinks he's a hero,
With his pledge, tax increases stay zero.
When will this guy learn,
When you watch the world burn,
The last guy you should be is a Nero...
Ron Christi keeps filling his chatter,
With right-wing refuse that won't matter.
Not only is the dude
His positions are Mad as a Hatter!
The Republicans think tax cuts are great,
These were always the top of their slate,
Unless Democrats call
Payroll taxes to fall,
Now that is a tax cut they hate...
Sarah Palin may hail from Wassilli,
And she may be a comely young filly,
But, then when she went
To become President -
Now, I find that incredibly silly!
Now they're returning Donald the Trump,
Guess they think he'll give Gingrich the Bump,
You'd think after the mirth
Over Obama's birth,
They would find a new cliff off to Jump...
So Newt thinks he's so good at debate,
He would show young Obama the gate.
If Obama could do
The Harvard Law Review,
It's more likely Obama'd do Great!
Newt and Donald are so high on piety,
They know what is best for society,
But Newt's Contract on America
Just couldn't be scary-a,
For the poor, who just might show up riot-y...
So Donald wants poor kids on "Apprentice".
He thinks showing them there would content us.
This just shows that his brain
Is completely insane,
I'd consider him non compos mentis.*..
* For those not legally versed, "Not of sound mind"...
The Roberts Court startled nations
By granting life to corporations.
Romney would redefine
The term "Frankenstein";
He thinks that they go through gestations...
Donald Trump thinks he carries the nation,
With his show, he's a media sensation.
But Mitt Romney knows
His huge ego shows
Trump wants nothing but fools' adoration.
Donald Trump likes to think he's the kingmaker;
He who won't risk debate is a risk taker.
But this big, blowhard cad
Is almost as bad
As Sauron, the notorious Ringmaker...
Michelle B. thinks she knows Economics
And rejects what she views as Obamics.
It is this density
That gives such levity
To the way that she's laughed at by comics.
All the GOP Candidates rage,
'Stead of being on the same page.
That brings up the question -
It's just a suggestion -
Why can't they start acting their age?
Mitt Romney is so out of touch
That he thinks that 10 grand isn't much.
If it's so easy to get,
I would make him the bet
That Obama will beat the whole bunch...
The Roberts Court may think they're Supreme,
But their activism's really extreme.
With Citizens United,
They've left the land blighted,
'Cause they've sold the American Dream!
Mitch McConnell just makes the blood curdle.
He makes taxing the rich such a hurdle.
He adopts Norquist's pledge,
Using it like a sledge.
You'd expect that from a man who's a turtle..
John Boehner remains quite the crier,
He'd sell us out to the highest buyer,
And he won't create jobs
For us middle-class 'slobs' -
I can't wait 'til we tell him, "You're FIRED!"
The writer of the TEA Budget, Ryan,
Keeps sellin' what people ain't buyin';
This guy would give vouchers
To people with ouchers,
But not help those folks who're dyin'...
That bastion of tax cuts, Jon Kyl,
Refused to shake hands 'cross the Aisle,
He held lower-class pay
Hostage to keeping away
Bush tax cuts' expiration a while..
Eric Cantor's the wimp of the House,
He thinks any critic's a louse.
His ego's inflated,
He's so overrated,
This guy's not a man, he's a mouse...
The GOP think they're destined to rule,
But Santa will take them to school.
Because they are blind
To their debt to Mankind,
They'll find coal in their stockings for Yule.
Scott Walker, Governor since last fall,
Figured he was most powerful of all.
Against unions, he'd win -
But great pride is a sin,
So that, now, he is facing recall.
Chris O'Donnell gave Mitt a salute,
She wants to give Gingrich the boot.
He should watch out, or find
That her hex leaves him blind -
She can always use more eye of Newt...
When it comes to the political clime,
The GOP should just take its time.
While Obama looks great,
They should keep up debate.
They'll just get deeper lost in their slime...
Herman Cain is incredibly dense -
Now he wants to be Sec of Defense!
What's his defensive plan -
Throw some nukes at Iran,
Surround States with his electric fence...
Newt has been wearing quite the frown;
He don't know why his numbers left town.
He forgot what we saw
As Newton's Third Law:
Entropy, entropy, all winds down...
Alternate Version :
Newt has been wearing quite the frown;
He don't know why his numbers left town.
He forgot what we saw
As Newton's First Law:
Whatever goes up, must come down...
John Boehner desires reelection,
So he gave in to Senate reflection,
But the TEA Party caucus
Became rather raucous,
Which is why he keeps changing direction...
Mitch McConnell can wear such a frown,
Looks like he's dying to get out of town.
It just goes to prove,
When shove comes to move,
You can't keep a better man down...
FOX 'News' shocks you with their audacity,
And have BIG problems with their veracity,
But, concerning the drama
Of how they hate Obama,
You have to admire their tenacity...
Sarah Palin disconnects with Reality,
Often sinks to the depths of venality,
But to disrespect Bo,
Well, now, that's mighty low.
Now she won't win Miss Congeniality...
John Boehner was the mightiest of all,
The whole House was at his beck and call,
'Til the Senate said, "Nein!"
To his oil pipeline.
Quoth Proverbs, "Pride goeth ... 'fore a fall."
The TEA Party makes Boehner salute
When their efforts he tries to refute;
They keep holding him back,
Keep his comments on track,
'Cause he knows that they'll give him the boot.
If Boehner's the Speaker in fact,
He should teach the TEA folks how to act.
They just keep going wild
Like some petulant child,
He should show them the virtue of tact.
Boehner's leadership comes into question
When he folds to the TEA folks each session.
He gives this minority
And gives all the People oppression.
Ron Paul used to publish newsletters,
Claiming blacks ought to bow to their betters.
This man had the knavery
To recommend slavery;
Just wait 'til they're loose of their fetters!
Betcha Iowans are getting quite bored
Of these candidates out of their gourd!
Once the media's left,
They'll start feeling bereft,
'Cause they'll go back to being ignored...
Ron Paul just keeps on spending his days
Being frightened of blacks and of gays,
Even Sarah Palins!
There's a nightmare to render you crazed!
Ron Paul's making great vows of piety,
And denying his guilt of impropiety,
He can't face that the gist
Of his long mailing list
Belonged to the John Birch Society...
Ron Paul wants his turn up at bat,
Always buzzing around like a gnat,
He'd make nations kowtow -
Of course, they wouldn't bow -
He don't know that the world isn't flat!
Governor Haley looks nice, but be leery,
Her false smile is unbearably cheery.
When I think of the blights
that she's caused voting rights,
Well, I'd love to strangle the dearie.
Then there's Florida's Governor Scott,
Thinks drug dealing's a Democrat plot,
'Fore elections, his fame's
Faking Medicare claims.
You think this guy's a con man, or what?
Governor Sanforth was hearty and hale,
Always answered his cell phone without fail,
Then he couldn't be found,
Though they looked all around...
He was 'hiking the Appalachian Trail'...
New Hampshire had the Old Man of Granite,
'Til erosion and pollution overran it.
What could ever take the place
Of that Stony Old Face?
Tell me, what are we doing to this planet?
Rick Santorum is wanting to beat us,
But he's too off-the-wall to defeat us!
I mean, look at his marriage -
When His wife had a miscarriage,
He had his kids hugging the fetus!
Rick Santorum is so bloody pious,
All our freedoms he wants to deny us!
He'd put police in our beds
And he'd mess with our heads -
He'd destroy all our rights with his bias!
The Republicans are scraping the bottom,
They can't believe Obama fought 'em!
'Though he's beaten and battered,
The Kochroaches scattered.
There's one of them now - SWAT! Flick! Got 'im!
Cantor lives on a Republican axis,
And he cannot accept what the facts is.
He'd become suicidal,
If he'd admit that his idol,
Ronald Reagan, had ever raised taxes...
Mitt Romney ought to do something drastic,
And prove his positions aren't elastic.
He might as well face
Cosmic rays in outer space
And call himself Mr. Fantastic...
Republicans want Obama to melt,
And keep hitting him below the belt,
But the enemies of progress,
This 'do nothing' Congress,
Will make him Franklin D. Roosevelt!
Here's an image that might overwhelm -
Our nation with Mitt Romney at the helm.
A picture even stranger,
And there'd be lesser danger,
With Fred Krueger from a street known as Elm.
Iowa wanted their caucus to be first -
Like it would cure some unquenchable thirst -
But Republicans voice,
"We don't like the choice
Between 'Bad', 'Worse', 'Worser' and 'Worst'!"
The problem I have with Santorum,
No one smart would ever vote for him!
He would change all the laws
Over privacy, 'cause
All fetuses deserve a forum!
Santorum would say anything not to lose,
Take away a woman's right to choose,
He would kill all the gays,
Bring about End of Days,
Because those are "good Christian Values"...
A question looms - when push comes to shove,
Who do Iowan voters truly love?
Romney, Paul, Santorum,
Someone else in their forum -
And the answer is "None of the Above"!
Mitt Romney won Iowa breezily,
And he looks to take New Hampshire easily.
Worships money as his church
And leaves us in the lurch,
Making all of our stomachs feel queasily...
Romney's morals may be pretty fine,
But his ethics are way out of line,
After cutting your throat,
He would stand there and gloat,
"Everything you once had will be mine!"
Romney's new tax plan just isn't fair.
He would even take funds that aren't there!
Even Ebenezer Scrooge
Would fit in as his stooge -
He'd be General in the new Class Warfare!
McCain thinks Mitt can win with his aid,
Avoid all the mistakes that he made,
Romney wouldn't get stuck
With the very bad luck
Of choosing as VP a dumb maid...
Romney wants to be President because
He would get to determine the laws
To reward all Wall Street
For attaining the feat
Of putting the world in his claws...
Republicans believe Romney's guile
Will bring on the Rapture in a while.
They think Obama's rotten,
But it seems they've forgotten,
The Anti-Christ will come, wearing a smile...
Romney has a job plan, there's no doubt,
But you won't like it when you find out
The jobs everyone sees
Will end up overseas,
'Cause all of his jobs are sourced out!
Mitch Daniels believes 'right-to-work'
Will provide jobs for those who won't shirk.
He won't realize the joke
Is on him and brothers Koch
'Til November helps him learn he's a JERK!
John Sununu don't like TPC's dour
Assessment of Mitt Romney's power.
He don't want to admit
That Mitt's tax plan ain't spit,
Treats middle class like it's something sour...
CC thinks MBAs on the right
Are Bean Counters, just spreading a blight.
As an MBA, I'd state,
Only Managers rate,
'Cause their ties are tied on way too tight...
(Cuts the flow of oxygen to the brain, you know...)
Mitt Romney should have to explain
All his ruinous actions at Bain.
To explain 'making jobs'
While leaving workers in sobs,
He'd have to be socially insane,,,
Bain Capital knew what it was doin'
When it left all those comp'nies in ruin.
Mitt Romney thought it funny
To extract all that money,
While all those workers dance to his tune...
Sarah thinks Romney ought to come clean
How he got his hands on that green.
It's not that she's zealous -
I think that she's jealous,
And wants to get into that scene...
Romney loves spreading 'round all that pain
While making off with his ill-gotten gain.
Leaving workers a mess?
He couldn't care less!
He was proud to be those workers' Bane!
Newt and Rick want to knock Romney down
From the heights his winning brought roun' -
They would love to deny
Romney's reach for the sky,
They'll end up giving Barry the town...
A new face on the scene is Colbert -
I think he took this as a dare.
Stewart's running his PAC -
I'd warn Mitt to get back,
'Cause his write-in campaign's got it's share!
Mitt Romney may think he's a straight arrow,
And now walks on the straight and narrow.
He may be right legally,
But, morally, ethically,
He needs lessons from Captain Jack Sparrow!
In November, Mitt Romney can't win
'Cause he lacks the integrity within.
His behavior reflects,
His Faith, he rejects -
Greed, Envy and Pride are all Sin...
Citizens United defies comment -
We won't know who owns our government!
To give real people a break,
It is going to take
A Constitutional Amendment!
Mitt Romney keeps raking that muck
And revealing how off-shore banks suck.
I'd have to say, "LIAR!
Your pants are on Fire!
When it comes to truth, man, WTF?"
Mitt Romney should go back to school
And learn being greedy ain't cool.
When it comes to our culture,
This capitalist vulture
Would become the One-Per-Cent's Tool!
Mitt Romney doesn't want to be hurried,
'Cause about his taxes, he's worried -
This rich, elite lout
Doesn't want us to find out
How many skeletons he'd buried...
Mitt Romney's treasure is great,
And the service he gets is first-rate,
But the flag that he owns -
The black skull-and-bones -
Doesn't fit on our own ship-of-state...
I know why Mitt's keeping his guard on,
And chasing the Prez with a hard-on.
It isn't the wealth -
He's giving himself
An air-tight Presidential PARDON!
Newt Gingrich's support isn't broad,
And his campaign is fatally flawed.
He should open his eyes -
Driving blind isn't wise -
And realize Adelson ain't God.
Gingrich and Frank have a past,
Newt loves having Barney to blast.
But as to character,
Newt is only an actor,
And Frank has him clearly outclassed...
Mitt Romney can outspend the Newt,
And find his opinions acute,
But Gingrich won't quit
And will target the Mitt,
'Til the Right can't know whom for to root..
Floridians are easily bought,
Or so, at least, Mitt Romney thought,
The TEA Party's not fooled
And find Mitt Romney crude,
And Gingrich thinks Mitt can be caught...
Mitt Romney has money to burn,
And he truly believe's it's his turn,
But the TEA Party thinks
That flip-flopping Mitt stinks.
Mitt will find he has lessons to learn...
The candidates keep throwing mud.
Pretty soon, they'll be both drawing blood.
Come election night,
Barack will look white,
Compared to their coating of crud...
Newt and Mitt each believes he's the master
Of smearing their foes ever faster.
Let's hope they don't wake up
And shake hands and make up,
If they don't, their November's disaster!
Dirty Harry will always have his say,
For car companies, Barack has done okay.
When it comes dow to Mitt,
He wouldn't do spit,
So Harry said, "Go ahead, punk, make my day..."
Car workers have to work for a livin'
So their autos will always be driven.
But Romney wants to blame
Unions for rigging the game,
So now, he's the one to be Unforgiven..
When money's the way you keep score,
Vulture Capitalism is what Mitt worked for.
'Stead of giving blue-collars
A Fistful of Dollars,
Mitt kept asking For A Few Dollars More...
While Mitt keeps spinning his repartee,
Come election, Barack's backside he'll see,
While he thinks that he tried
To beat Barack with Rawhide,
He'll end up with Play Misty For Me...
Pete Hoekstra lives on this kind of tripe,
Making fun of an Asian stereotype.
But for Ms. Stabenow,
She will use this gaffe now,
So, her election, this bigot won't swipe...
Pete Hoekstra just can't get it right,
When the Asian folks perceive a slight.
While the ads make him burn,
You'd think that he'd learn
That two Wongs can outvote a White...
Though I know he's just there for comment-y,
I can't take his comments as augment-y -
I find his style snicker-ish,
(And don't care much for licorice)
So, I can't see that much Good in Pawlenty...
The Righteous Right keeps backing Santorum,
And continues to give him a forum.
They keep having a fit
Over candidate Mitt,
And they refuse to ever vote for 'im...
Santorum warns Obama's all wet,
And intends to make all the Right sweat!
He claims he's foreseen
The returned guillotine...
I would say, "Outre d'avec sa tête!"
Translated from the French = "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"
The Right say the country's off track,
And they alone know how we can get back.
Their words just conceal
Their motive that's real -
They can't stand that the President's BLACK!
Franklin Graham thinks Obama's a knave,
And Graham thinks the country he'll save,
Graham wants Obama out,
But I think there's no doubt,
His father's spinning in his grave...
Santorum claims the country's problem is Satan,
And Obama, his Hell is creatin'...
Claims he's supported by God,
Which I find truly odd,
'Cause Satan's down there for Rick waitin'...
Rick thinks Satan's attacking the nation.
And prays for eternal salvation -
Well, God's not taking orders
From psychotic disorders
That believe in our rights' deprivation...
Virginia's calling for raping of women,
'Cause they feel Roe v. Wade needs some trimmin'.
Curtailing women's rights
Wouldn't keep them up nights,
'Cause the Kochs keep their cash coffers brimmin'...
Chris Christie's a typical bully,
Who can't understand his folks fully.
He interrupts to say,
"MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!"
His way tramples people's rights, truly...
Chris Christie has balls made of brass,
He won't listen to anyone's sass -
I think I can say
Why he doesn't like Gay -
Any gay'd be repulsed by his huge ass!
The Right keeps on giving him gripes,
But he knows when to ignore those types.
Obama is on track
To relax and kick back,
And he shows, he has a great set of pipes!
Republicans want people to panic,
Their cries to drill oil are manic,
They have their gunsights
Set to kill women's rights -
They're arranging deck chairs on Tea-Tanic!
Republicans keep giving him sass,
They truly show they have no class.
They'll arrange for a jump
Of the price at the pump,
But they'll prove their brand's run out of gas!
Santorum objects to our schoolin'.
He'd rather have our citizens droolin'.
He thinks little of knowledge,
But sends his kids to college
Who on Earth does this fool think he's foolin'...
Rush thinks Miss Fluke is a bimbo,
And wants to see her spread akimbo,,,
I hope the Devil he serves
Gives him what he deserves -
Eons of torment in Limbo...
Limbaugh speaks for the Elephant Brand;
They all jump high at Rush's command!
Sandra Fluke's got their number -
Let the Elephants lumber -
Their stampede will soon get out of hand!
The GOP doesn't care about their spouses -
They'd rather chase women from their Houses -
This storm they will weather,
All the ladies together,
And prove these aren't men, they are mouses!
Georgetown U. is a place that has class
Denouncing Rush as incredibly crass -
Rush Limbaugh will get caught
In their whirlpool of thought -
It's not smart to anger lawyers, en masse!
Rush Limbaugh won't give women respect,
A stance GOP hopefuls protect,
They're afraid of his wrath,
Unaware that this path
Will soon lead to their loss from neglect...
Women think that Rush Limbaugh will become
Just a loser who's incredibly dumb,
They're so sick of his wrongs,
They'll put him where he belongs -
The neanderthal age that he's from...
The Right thinks those females of the herd
Should rightly be seen but not heard.
The ladies will note
This mistake with their vote -
Can a girl resist getting the last word?
Does Rush really have so much might,
Republicans just give up with no fight?
They just genuflect
When he demands respect...
Can't they tell his bark's worse than his bite?
Rush could not respect women if he tried,
He wouldn't even know that he lied,
He cannot understand
What got so out of hand,
But his sponsors prefer air that has Died...
Rush's sponsors speed off by the score,
Leaving him with dead air to ignore.
This may seem good for us,
But he's starting to bore us -
What good's beating a dead horse for more?
The best thing they can do for Obama
Is ignore how he took out Osama
Their glaring omission
Highlights his decision,
And, in hindsight, just heightens the drama...
Scott Walker set his state adrift.
And used it as his source of grift.
He displayed so much gall,
He is facing recall...
After June 5th, he'll be taking the Fifth...
Governor Walker has been quite the phony,
Giving jobs out to many a crony...
Why put up with his guile?
'Stead of having a trial,
Let's send him to Africa's Joseph Kony...
Newt's Ego makes Callista swoon -
He's helping Mitt keep Rick down in ruin...
He thinks Destiny's calling,
And so he keeps stalling -
His ambition's as big as the MOON!
Conservative lawmaker, Ms. Proud,
Expresses opinions out loud...
When women are saddest,
She would act like a sadist,
Making sure they are thoroughly cowed...
Ms. Proud wants the women who mocked her
To be shamed by any abortion doctor...
She wants government small,
But with power over all...
She'd turn government into your proctor!
Romney thinks the political tradition
Allows him to take any position...
When his words are beset,
He would just hit "RESET" -
No one'd notice his own contradiction...
The one problem I have with the 'Vine
Is the way that the right-wing trolls whine,
But for Tyler and Sally,
This is right up their alley,
So, in time, everything turns out fine...
The troll's purpose here always is vague -
Of all of us, he's always the dreg.
From us, he brings our worst,
'Til he's banned 'cause he cursed -
But he always comes back a re-reg...
The laws that they call "Stand Your Ground"
Make the NRA think they're profound,
But they're turning our best
Into the old Wild, Wild West,
And our nation to a burial mound...
Republican courage is oxymoronic,
They avoid trouble like it's bubonic...
They believe they've got answers,
They're just half-truth enhancers
Who can't tell when they're being sardonic...
The Republican gender view is quixotic;
Women are either feared or exotic...
They're either greatly loved
Or emotionally shoved -
Towards women, they're basically psychotic...
Women cannot earn the Right's trust;
Their view to equal pay is a bust.
They would rather see Myrtle
As barefoot and fertile
Than earning a paycheck that's just...
George Zimmerman's been quite the schem-a,
Anyone who expects him's a dream-a.
Those who wonder just where he'd go,
Should start searching South Amerigo,
I suggest they start looking in Lima...
Allen West cannot stick to the script;
Most pundits would convey that he's flipped;
He can't help but see Reds
Hiding under our beds -
For a battle of wits, he's ill-equipped...
America's a garden where the seeds
One carefully plants, waters and feeds -
But you can't see the beauty
'Til you're done with the duty
Of removing those Republican weeds...
West is certain Commies all are Progressive,
His paranoia is truly excessive...
He can't help being frenetic -
His problem's genetic -
Being a Conservative jerk is regressive...
Mayor Booker risked his life for his neighbour,
Despite flames and smoke, managed to save her...
Instead of being a Nero,
They've declared him a hero -
That's a title I hope he will savour...
Mitt Romney's bias leaves him blind
To the problems of friends he may find...
Nugent's psycho babble
Encourages the rabble,
Who don't care that he's out of his mind...
Mitt Romney can't recognize the truth -
Ted Nugent's paranoid and uncouth...
Nugent anticipates the drama
As he assassinates Obama...
He wants the infamy of John Wilkes Booth!
Mitt Romney doesn't care for the young,
Has no patience for those on lower rung...
His dad paid for his college,
But he hasn't the knowledge
To distinguish his positions from dung...
Republicans don't care for the scholar,
They'll squeeze college funds until they holler...
They don't care for the masses
Of the lower-middle classes -
They just worship the Almighty Dollar...
Mitt Romney wants to follow Scott Walker.
He seems to think Scott's quite the talker...
He would follow the footsteps
Of Scott's jack-booted bootsteps,
Why would we choose a heavy-footed stalker?
Scott Walker is quite simply a snob
Who thinks any union worker's a slob...
His assumption makes
For political mistakes
That will render him out of his job...
Two years ago, the Supreme Court decided
To rule in favour of Citizens United...
Each Republican judge
Pulled us into the sludge
That results from a nation divided...
So they titled this airline as Spirit -
When refunds are needed, they won't hear it...
They are callous and cruel,
And will look like a fool,
When no one compassionate comes near it...
So Romney's good friends with the Jets?
His seats are as good as it gets -
The way the world's sufferin',
His team could use Bufferin -
He will suffer the same fate as the Mets.
Ryan's and Romney's immorality
Don't take into account the reality -
They think they can poke
Money out of the broke;
Somehow, that will bring them immortality...
They think Obama's policies have failed...
They can't see the Rich tax breaks derailed
What Bill Clinton accomplished,
They would both see demolished -
Well, I'm sorry, but that ship has sailed,,,
The Right want big breaks for Job Makers -
They won't see that the Rich are Job Fakers...
The Poor should be leery -
Their Trickle-Down Theory
Is pissing all over the Job Takers...
Obama delighted the masses,
Had smarter folk raising their glasses -
His high-toned sense of wit
Caused a Republican fit -
While their candidates sit on their asses...
Obama wants our Asian presence to cease,
And let Karzai our commitments release...
After twelve years and more
Of being stuck in this war,
Bin Laden's death gives us real chance of Peace...
Mitt Romney's political position
Depends on political division...
His big economic plan
Expands Bush out of hand,
With amnesia as historical revision...
The Right destroys jobs in public sector,
While complaining of unemployment's vector.
Claim public work isn't jobs
While giving taxes to snobs -
They prefer to be the Wealthy's protector...
Mitt Romney's political lack
Is because of his paucity of tact...
The reason he quotes
For deserving your votes -
"Well, You have to admit, I'm not Black!"
Mitt Romney believes in a world of illusion,
His religion is rife with confusion,
His beliefs give us pause,
And worry us because
We would arm him with weapons of fusion...
Mitt Romney has a question of character,
His business past shows him a bad actor,
He has the reputation
For forsaking our nation,
And sourcing the job out to a contractor...
Mitt Romney lives a millionaire's fantasy,
As President, his future's his destiny.
It's time he should learn,
It isn't his turn...
His future's as a Presidential wannabe...
The TEA Party has flipped beyond reason,
They're accusing Obama of Treason.
They're readying their arms
And shouting alarms,
They think it should be Obama Season...
Mitt Romney would love to take credit
For Obama's rescue when he led it...
Mitt Romney's so corrupt,
He'd let it go bankrupt;
Now he definitely regrets that he said it...
Mitt Romney believes that he's winning,
And has ever since the beginning -
He's so full of delusion,
And so rife with confusion,
He don't even know when he's spinning...
Auto workers were full of dissension
And the industry fell in recession...
Obama fixed it -
Mitt's sorry he missed it -
He'd have loved to get hold of their pension...
So Tom Barrett is facing Scott Walker,
Let's hope he's a pitcher, not a balker...
Walker's current mission
To buy political revision
Requires a fighter, not a talker...
To Swiss citizenship, The Bachmanns aspire,
Michele did what the Swiss would require...
It may be a blunder,
I find myself wonder,
I'd expect the Swiss standards to be higher...
The DNC must acknowledge the need
For Wisconsin to fight folks of greed...
If Walker stays in,
The GOP win,
They're going to make people bleed...
While Obama wants banks more discrete,
The House with their cash is replete...
While Boehner keeps ramblin',
The banks, they keep gamblin'...
They can't stop, their addiction's complete...
Mitt Romney wants the public to forget
That Republicans caused all the debt...
While they break all the rules,
They would take us for fools...
In the Fall, they will fall with no net...
The banks don't regret what they started,
Their apologies come off half-hearted...
Their addiction's synonomous
With Gamblers Anonymous...
A fool and his money are soon parted...
When the banks started out to malfunction,
Government would help out at that junction...
We'll continue to bail
'Cause they're "too big to fail",
The taxpayers enable their dysfunction...
Mitt Romney continues to deride us,
While his tax forms, refuses to provide us...
While Republicans claim
We'll be shouting his name,
You should never shake hands with King Midas...
Obama's still attacked by the Right
Over fictions about his birth site,
They raise such canards,
Raising birth and race cards,
They've even resurrected Reverend Wright!
Some 'reality' shows think they're profound,
Others want to the audience astound...
Don Trump doesn't want applause
For "The Apprentice", because
He just loves to bully people around...
Rush Limbaugh's own personal grail
Is getting the President to fail...
He doesn't care the failed country
Would bring down all and sundry -
Rush's treason should land him in jail!
Rush Limbaugh more than insulted Sandra Fluke;
He caused women to give him a hard look...
They despise what they see
And will bring bankruptcy
To his future... On that, you can make book!
Mitt would cause the whole country to fall
As long as he made money off it all...
He considers friends and mentors
All the rich One-Per-Centers
And all others as worthless who bawl...
Romney's record shows how he's a vulture
Who devours comp'nies, unions and culture...
He eats jobs and pensions
Amid rising tensions,
Leaving bones and lives dropped in the mulcher...
Walker's sponsors left him no doubt,
They would buy this election in a rout...
That ticking you hear
Is his end drawing near
When Wisconsin people vote him out...
Mike Coffman didn't know what to say
When he spoke to a reporter today...
He can't say, Barack's true
To the Red, White and Blue -
He'd prefer that it all go away...
Coffman thinks America is exceptional -
Other nations should bow to the professional
And admit inferiority...
This bully should reside in a confessional...
Romney claims he'll be great for education,
But public schools would be on probation...
Charter and private schools
Would fit in with Mitt's rules,
Public kids would have permanent vacation...
Wisconsin is ousting Scott Walker,
With help from our favourite Talker...
Walker's feeling the heat,
Workers pounding the street -
He must feel Ed's his personal stalker...
Walker's promises are strictly token;
Cutting spending won't fix what is broken...
His numbers aren't rising,
It isn't surprising,
He will learn that the PEOPLE have spoken...
Wisconsin's problems don't come from spending,
They come from Republican trending
To break unions and classes;
They should get off their asses.
And accept Walker's power is ending...
Scott Walker will wind up quite bitter
When he finds himself tossed with the litter...
He'll end up without power,
'Cause he's smelling like Flower,
Bambi's favourite black-and-white critter...
Doesn't matter 'bout petition collections;
Doesn't matter 'bout thoughtful selections;
Doesn't matter Scott's stealing
Or state influence dealing;
Just matters BIG money buys elections...
This proves now that Citizens United
Will leave all America blighted...
This political schism
Will lead to Fascism,
Which will make all our civil rights slighted...
While Obama pushes his Job Act.
Republicans stop it in Job fact...
They block and obstruct
While saying "Tough luck!"
Just wait 'til we get all the House back...
Mitt Romney's renowned for predation
And famous for prevarification...
If he can't tell the truth
About Bain or his youth,
Imagine where he'd lead the nation...
Mitt Romney believes he's the Maxis,
The world revolves 'round his axis...
If he is so cock-sure
His destiny's so pure,
Why's he paranoid to show his taxes?
Mitt is certain he's the Man of the Hour,
Obama should quail before his power...
He should examine himself,
And the source of his wealth,
'Fore the People kick him off his high tower...
Mitt Romney can't get out of this mess
By revealing the source of his success...
By releasing his note,
He'd be cutting his throat,
By showing how he swindled IRS...
Hoover created the Great Depression,
G.W. created the Great Recession.
If Mitt Romney should win,
What a mess we'd be in,
The Revolt would be the Great Regression!
Mitt Romney admits he doesn't care
'Bout the Poor, 'cause the safety net's there...
Well, the way that he's headed
Leaves the safety net shredded,
'Cause his tax plan would shred Medicare...
Mitt Romney showed a whole lot of class
When treating his British hosts so crass...
You'd think he'd get the message
When Rifalka does dressage -
Be careful when you act the horse's a$$...
Though Dyson's liberal, born and bred,
He can't hold a candle to our Ed...
I don't want to seem trendy,
But best wishes for Wendy...
Now, let's get into Mitt Romney's head...
Though I think that it may be just chatter,
I also think Romney's tax returns matter...
Though a sign of the times,
I think Mitt Romney's crimes
May reveal that he's Mad as a Hatter...
Mitt could have paid no taxes at Bain,
But he feels there's no need to explain...
With no returns to resolve this,
There's one man who can solve this...
Why's there silence from buddy John McCain?
A great women's advocate, Sandra Fluke -
This woman has a great deal of pluck...
Rush Limbaugh may claim
He 'created' her name,
But this windbag is just out of luck...
The Republican relation with the Truth
Reveals most of them to be uncouth...
The Ninth Commandment
Of God's Demand meant,
Lying isn't right in the voting booth...
One problem I have with his Mitt-ness
Is how he lacks presidential fitness...
His constant flip-flopping
Keeps his handlers hopping
With his continual use of false witness...
The Republican right to be wrong
Has fascinated us for so long...
The rigging by trolls
At political polls
Ensures Obama's lead will be strong...
I'm glad my limericks make you smile
While digging at the Right all the while...
I figure the way
That I have my say
Should at least be accomplished with style...
Ryan's plan tears the safety net asunder,
Romney's choice has to make you wonder -
Just who is the planner
Who's stuck in Wayne Manor?
Is it Flatman and the Boy Blunder?
I'm surprised that Paul Ryan has shown up...
I note this radical kept his tone up...
His path of distraction
Calls Democrats to action -
It's true - Eddie Munster has grown up!
Romney Hood's pick is to shore up his base,
But Paul Ryan looks so out of place,
He preferred the position
Of "Loyal Opposition" -
The country will land him flat on his face...
Romney has given Ryan a forum,
But the Public Eye will abhor him -
You would think Romney's choice
Would have more conservative voice
If Mitt Robot had chosen Santorum...
Romney's choice shows he thinks he can get inside
The TEA Party folks as a source of pride...
He does not realize
This political 'prize'
Is slow-motion political suicide...
Thinks Republican caveman Todd Akin,
"You must pre-heat the oven 'fore bakin'"
This man's concept of rape
Leaves the country agape,
But he'll soon find his campaign forsaken...
Ann Coulter claims Dems hate this nation,
And loves being the center of sensation...
I can't tell if this witch
Underwent gender switch,
Or just flunked her high-school education...
Republicans wouldn't notice a hurricane,
They're too caught up in matters inane...
Besides, hurricanes forming
Would confirm global warming,
And, of course, they would find that insane...
Mitt Romney spends his time trying to pander
To those who would make him Commander...
They think he'll be their guide
To be on winning side,
But they couldn't find anyone blander...
Romney states the President's black ace
Has been played to shore up his base...
He'd gut "Welfare For Work"
To attract those who shirk -
Mitt's lies prove the Right's the Wrong place...
The Right claims the Left plays the race card
Proves they can't face their own canard...
Their minds are so closed,
Their bigotry's exposed,
Now, they're hoisted by their own petard...
The Right hates how demogaphs shifted
So minority populations have lifted...
They'd rather have Whites
Remain at the heights,
Can't admit some minority's gifted...
Mitt Romney thinks he's Mr. Terrific;
His tax plan would do wonders prolific...
All men's taxes would be cut,
Keeping benefits, but
He refuses to say anything specific...
During debates, Willard Romney would choose
To have Ann by his side or he'll lose...
You see, without dressage,
Mitt can't keep on message,
So she has to be there, giving cues...
Nine-Eleven came with Republican snarking
While Obama was aniversary marking...
Obama has a mint in
His buddy, Bill Clinton -
The Right can't stand the Big Dawg barking...
If Mitt Romney would lead this nation,
He needs to rectify this situation...
To get rid of his romnesia,
He needs Milk of Magnesia
To relieve his political constipation...
Mitt Romney's campaign needs a turnaround
To have a chance to get back on solid ground...
Do I think he can do it?
He wouldn't go through it -
Personality transplants can't be found...
Willard ought to go back to the beginning
To hope to have any chance at his winning.
I find, such a fool is he,
He's making me dizzy,
He resembles a centrifuge spinning...
Mitt Romney really blurted a beaut,
The matter of his IQ is moot...
If he had the grace
To reach outer space,
He would exit the airlock with no suit...
Mitt Romney thinks he speaks for the Lord,
So, if he wants roll-down windows on board
His version of Air Force One,
Just let him have his fun,
He'll find where "the Grapes of Wrath are Stored"...
Romney wants to privatize all schools
And force student loans to his rules...
As for subsidizing banks,
We should all say, "No, thanks!
Who do you take us for, fools?"
Mitt Romney can't win a popular poll,
And losing's starting taking its toll...
While his polling keeps dyin',
He's barking at Ryan...
He should stop digging himself in a hole...
Scott Brown should stop his race baiting -
He'll keep seeing his Senate seat fading...
Liz Warren's superior,
His conduct's inferior -
Their positions, they soon will be trading...
Republicans often tend to be cheaters,
Their ethics rank below all wife-beaters...
These Righties are so wrong,
They ought to belong
At the front door of Wal-Mart as greeters...
Republicans come off as 'unfeeling',
The 'imbalanced' polls have them reeling...
They've come to believe
What they've used to deceive,
They have to stop using what they're dealing...
Romney wants so much to win this debate,
He can't possibly play this one straight...
This man is so curved
He'll swing where he swerved,
While pandering to the Party of Hate...
Republicans believe they are so great
That Democrats don't have a chance to rate...
Mitt thinks the Working Poor
Don't deserve any thing more,
But Obama will show him up in the debate...
Telling Truth just isn't Mitt's style...
Since his youth, he's hidden 'hind his smile...
His smile can't disguise,
He lives for his lies...
You can't win the Presidency with guile...
Mitt Romney showed up last night to act
Like all he said last year isn't fact...
His polite obfusction
Astounded the nation,
All his policy he claimed to retract...
Mitt Romney has now declared war
On positions that he held before...
To political allies,
His political sallies
Held a "Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more..."
Mitt Romney has put out the word,
He's planning to fire Big Bird...
Has enlightened the nation -
For a pittance, he's being absurd...
This new format may be tried for 'yucks',
Or the hopes of yielding big bucks...
As a user, I rate it
Just south of "I HATE IT!
As for me, I find this new format SUCKS!"
Ryan got his photo op in a soup kitchen,
Without bothering to ask their permission...
This patent palaver
Was raising a lather
To prove he's a washed-up politician...
Paul Ryan couldn't win in the debate,
His math and economics were third-rate,
So, to make his slide stop,
He staged this photo-op,
And, so doing, caused "Dishwater-Gate"...
Romney insisted on having his say,
Thinking Obama would wimp out today...
After gaffe followed gaffe,
Barack had the last laugh -
Showing Mitt, Turnabout is Fair Play...
Polls try to determine the unknowns,
But don't include people with ringtones...
Young people in college
And those who have knowledge,
Who tend to vote liberal, use cell phones...
Most people who sit on the fence,
I think are incredibly dense...
I find I'm derisive
of those indecisive,
And those who believe FOX nonsense...
Republicans incline to be dim,
And kowtow to Rush Limbaugh's whim...
If Obama walked on water
To save someone's daughter,
Rush would say, "Look! Obama can't swim!"...
Republicans deny Anthropology,
History, Economics, Biology,
Math, Logic and Reason -
They deride them as Treason,
And prefer to believe their Mythology...
Romney thinks, since he makes the Big Bucks,
He belongs in the Mansion Deluxe...
He may think we need schoolin',
Who's he think he is foolin'?
All he offers is George Bush redux...
Former RNC Chairman Steele
Thinks the Right has major mass appeal...
He keeps filling the joints
With Right Wing talking points...
How much nonsense can one man reveal?
Republican plans for the military,
To them, are incredibly scary...
They are calling for wars,
Raising fatality scores,
While the REMFs sit at home, making merry...
REMFs => Military slang, for Rear Echelon Mother F___ers...
The Right's ads aren't about information,
They're all propaganda dissemination...
Republican ad men
Are acting like Mad Men -
Selling product is their sole destination...
Paul Tyler's put in the low bid -
He can't out-think an 8-year-old kid,,,
If he heard his Super-Ego,
He would go the way we go,
But he's stuck being slave to his Id...
"Voting is a Right, Not a Crime!"
Hope these were put up in time...
Know who was to blame?
Clear Channel's owned by Bain!
They ought to be drowned in their slime!
Romney thinks destroying FEMA would be clever,
Can't see the states work better together...
This millionaire dandy
Will get clobbered by Sandy,
He must be feeling under the weather...
This voter noticed something worth noting,
He noticed his machine changed his voting!
These machines should be banned,
Too easily programmed,
These votes are why Romney is gloating...
Charles Webster thinks Maine's blacks are so scarce,
He'd engage in this back-mailing farce...
His attitude towards race,
I find, is so base,
He can't get his head out of his (R)s...
Republicans think Gen'ral Petraeus
Was silenced so he couldn't betray us...
He quit 'cause the Skipper
Couldn't keep up his zipper,
But the Right makes up scandals to flay us...
It was good to see Rachel get cozy
With Minority Leader Pelosi...
When Russett claimed immaturity
Should beat out seniority,
She answered, Dems' future is rosy.
The election didn't go as anticipated,
The presidency went to the man they hated...
The Right can't understand
How it's so out of hand,
They can't see their ranks have been decimated...
'Tween Robertson, O'Reilly and Gervais,
Ricky believes what he says,
O'Reilly would brush off
All those who would scoff,
And Robertson would bring End of Days...
CEOs, 'cause they were 'uncertain',
Wouldn't hire those folks who were hurtin'...
Now, that's changing, because,
Like the Wizard of Oz,
Norquist's been found, hiding behind the curtain...
General Patreus, thought FOX Chairman Ailes,
Could cover if Mitt Romney fails...
But now both men have fallen,
So who can he call in?
The future for Republicans pales...
Whether Washington admits it or not,
Granting human rights hits the right spot...
It's okay if your ex
is of the same sex,
And the statehouse is going to pot!...
Steve spends his time covering the nation,
Chronicling every new news sensation,
But, I just wonder, then,
Is it coincidence, when
Both Rachel and Steve take vacation?...
I thoroughly endose Colbert for Senate...
Belief in 'Truthiness' is his tenet...
'Though I think it's just rumour,
I think his sense of humour
Renders Governor Galey again' it...
Karl Rove thinks he deserve to be free
To advance all conservatives he'd see...
So now, the IRS
can evaluate the mess
He left on his political spree...
President Obama wants Chuck Hagel
To handle matte